


How to Raise Your Angels

by AskingTheAngels



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Regression, De-aging, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, Kidfic, Lots of Crying, Protective Dean Winchester, bb!balthy, bb!cas, bb!gabe, bb!verse, big brother feels, big brother mode activated, cas has emotions, fledgelings, mostly cas, potty training the angels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-24
Updated: 2013-11-01
Packaged: 2017-12-30 08:13:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1016224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AskingTheAngels/pseuds/AskingTheAngels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Friggin' witches! </p>
<p>Cas, Balthazar, and Gabriel are cursed by a witch during a hunt. They now occupy the bodies of toddlers. Sam and Dean head to Bobby's to try and break the curse. But until then, they're stuck with three emotional, eating, sleeping, tiny, adorable angels. </p>
<p>Based loosely on vickjawn's bb!verse, all rights for the original idea go to her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Excuse the layout errors, it's my first time posting!

"Look at them, Sam! They're toddlers! Freaking toddlers!"

"I can see that, Dean!"

"Why the hell did you bring 'em here?" Bobby complained.  
"We had nowhere else to go! We can't just take them out in public! They've got freaking wings, Bobby! Wings!"

"Calm yourself, boy!"  
"Bobby's right, Dean, you're not going to help anything if you get upset."  
"I am not upset, I just don't know what the hell we're going to do!"  
"You think we do?"

"They're not even potty trained yet!" Dean yelled.  
"We are angels of the lord, Dean." Gabriel glared. "Warriors. I am sure we can control human bladders."  
"I am not responsible for your bladder control, or lack of it!"  
"Calm down, Dean. They'll be fine."  
"I am not about to change angelic diapers for the next two years!"

The three angels sat silently on the couch, staring at the hunters.  
Gabriel used what little grace he had left to conjure up candy, nibbling contently.  
Balthazar laid his head on the armrest, eyes wandering to Bobby's abandoned bottle of whiskey.  
Castiel sat silently, head down in shame, looking dangerously close to tears.

"Guys," Sam motioned them over, away from the angels.  
"What, Sam?" "They're gonna feel a lot more than they're used to."  
"What do you mean?"  
"I mean, angels don't really feel any emotions. In these vessels, since they're not as old, they're gonna feel a lot. And it's not gonna be easy on them." "Well that's just freaking awesome! Cas was already a bag of emotions before this!"  
Sam sighed.  
"What the hell are we going to do?"

"I for one am getting my ass out of this house. I'll run to the store." Bobby suggested, eager to leave.

"Guess I'll go fix some dinner." Sam sighed, making his way to the kitchen.  
"Well, that means I'm stuck with you monsters." Dean addressed the sombre angels.

After a few minutes of picking through Bobby's bookshelf, Dean produced an ancient Disney VCR.

He popped it into the player and within seconds, an old, staticky version of The Little Mermaid had all three angels' attention.

~

"Dinner!" Sam called.  
Gabriel scrabled off the couch, bolding for the kitchen, Balthazar hot on his heels. Cas walked slowly behind them.

"Angels do not require food." Castiel huffed, pushing his plate away.  
"Well, for now you're a toddler, and they do require food."  
"I do not require food."  
"Why can't you just eat like your brothers, dammit!"  
Cas gave Dean a hard glare before pushing back from the table and leaving the room.  
"I think you hurt his feelings." Sam said quietly.  
"So?"  
"So, he's a kid. I don't know, comfort him?"  
"He's a thousand year old angel, he doesn't need comforting."  
"Come on, Dean, the kid looked like he was about to cry!"  
"You go comfort him then!"  
"He likes you best."  
"You do got that whole profound bond thing going on." Gabriel chimed in around his mouthful of food.

~

"Brought you a burger...kind of a peace offering."  
Castiel stared out the window, silently, back turned with small black wings poking out, curling protectively around him.  
"C'mon, Cas, I know you love burgers. I had to make one special for you."  
The closer Dean got, the more he could see of the angel-turned-child, how his wings were quivering and his shoulders were shaking, just a little bit.  
"Hey, Cas, you alright?"  
Castiel turned enough that Dean could see the tear tracks on his cheeks.  
He shook his head very slowly, fat tears rolling down his face absolutely pitifully.  
"Aw, Cas. C'mere bud." Dean scooped up the small angel in his arms, holding him close, siting on the bed with Cas in his lap.  
Castiel whimpered, clutching Dean's shirt in his tiny fists.  
"What is happ'ning, D-Dean?" He hiccuped. "Why is there w-water on my face?"  
"'Cause you're cryin', Cas. Those are tears."  
"Tears?"  
"Your little vessel is feeling emotions, angel."  
"Oh." Cas hiccuped, wiping his face. "I don't-I don't believe I like tears."  
"Don't think anybody does." Dean chuckled softly.  
Castiel turned to shoot him a dirty look.  
"Do not-do not laugh at me!" He gave Dean the most authoritative look he could while tears still dripping from his eyes, before he fell back against Dean's chest with a sob.  
"I can't-I can't make it s-stop."  
"It's ok, Cas, let it out."  
"I-I don't-I don't like it."  
"I know, bud." Dean wrapped his arms around the shivering angel. "Let it out."

"Dean?" A whimper escaped the child's lips.  
"Yeah, Cas?"  
"I believe I am...scared."  
"Grown up you woulda never admitted that." He smiled down. "We're gonna figure this out. Don't worry. And we'll fix it."  
"But what do I do now?"  
"For now we're gonna deal with this one day at a time."  
"I am...scared, Dean." Cas whimpered, sounding close to tears again.  
"Shh, Cas. I got'cha."  
He sniffed again.  
"I should be taking care of you, not the other way around."  
"You've saved my ass enough. Time I return the favour."  
He was quiet for a minute before the little angel spoke again.  
"My stomach is making a strange rubbling, Dean, am I sick?"  
"You're hungry. And don't give me any more of that crap about you not needing food. You're eating." Dean handed the burger to the toddler, who took it quietly. He managed to eat five bites before he coughed and pushed the food back into Dean's hands, falling onto the hunter's chest again.  
"These small humans feel a lot more than I am used to. It is...unsettling." Cas murmured into Dean's shirt, yawning hugely.  
"You getting sleepy on me now, Cas?" Dean chuckled softly.  
"Angels do not require sleep."  
"Toddler-Angels obviously  
do."  
That quieted him for a moment.  
"How does sleep work, Dean?"  
"How does sleep work? Well, um, you close your eyes and you're out cold for like 8 hours if you're lucky, I guess."  
"That sounds terrible." The small angel shivered. "I don't believe I will be sleeping."  
"Naw, Cas, you got it all wrong. Sleep is great."  
"It sounds..."  
"Scary?"  
Castiel nodded miserably.  
"Guess a lot of things are scary when you're three feet tall."  
"And have no powers."  
"Yeah."  
Cadtiel's eyelids drooped for a moment too long, his eyes shot open, terrified.  
"What is happening?"  
"Whether you like it or not, you're falling asleep."  
"No." His eyes struggled to stay open.  
"Just let it happen, Cas."  
"No."  
"You haven't slept in what, a thousand years? It's time you caught some shut eye."  
"But, I-"  
"But me no buts, Cas. You need to sleep."  
"What do I do?" The little angel whispered. "I've never hadda sleep 'fore."  
"Close your eyes."  
"What if I get a nightmare?"  
"Then you wake me up. Hell, I know all about nightmares and hell."  
Castiel closed his eyes slowly, his body relaxing.

Just when Dean thought he had fallen asleep, Castiel's eyes suddenly shot open.  
"Something is happening." He looked terrified, scrambling out of Dean's lap.  
"What, Cas? What's happening?"  
"I do not know!" He started to cry, angel wings curling around him defensively.  
"Cas, c'mon bud, what's happening."  
Castiel cried louder.  
"It's ok, just tell me, we'll work it out.  
"I was-I was feeling pressure," He hiccuped. "Down...there." He added, sniffling pitifully. "And I thought-thought it'd go 'way. Bu-but it didn't!"  
"And?" Dean prompted.  
"I believe...I-I am...wet." He cried.  
Dean instantly knew what was the matter. The little angel had wet his pants, didn't know what was happening, and was embarrassed to top it all off.  
"Hey, it's ok, Cas, was bound to happen eventually."  
"Bu-b-but you, but you s-said," Cas sobbed.  
"I said what, c'mon bud, calm down."  
It took a few minutes for Castiel to calm down enough to get his words out properly.  
"You said you would not be changing angelic diapers for the next two years."  
His chin quivered. "I am sorry I am such a burden." Fat tears ran down the obviously humiliated angel's face.  
"I was upset, I didn't mean to be mean," Dean sighed. "I'm sorry, Cas. It's only your first day as a kid, I didn't mean to be hard on you." He held out his arms for a hug. Castiel bolted into it, crying with relief that Dean wasn't mad and humiliation over what had just happened.  
"You're an angel! You'll have it down pat in a couple days. No sweat.You'll be fine."  
He pulled away, looking at the toddler.  
"Now, get those off while I get the stuff, alright? We'll get you ready for bed. Everything'll look better in the morning."  
"Al'ri'" Cas whispered, hiccuping.  
When the angel was clean and clad in one of Dean's old shirts, his exhaustion became apparent. He curled close in Dean's arms, struggling stubbornly to keep his eyes open.  
"Dean..." He mumbled sleepily as they entered a small bedroom. "Don't leave me here alone."  
"I'm just gonna put you into bed."  
"No!" Cas's eyes blinked rapidly, struggling to keep consciousness.  
"You need to get some sleep, Cas. And I don't need an angel baby kicking me in the junk in the middle of the night."  
"I want to sleep with you. This vessel is afraid of the dark."  
"Cas,"  
Tears clouded the angel's blue eyes.  
"Please, Dean. M'scared."  
"Alright, fine. But don't expect me to be happy about it." Dean grumbled.  
Hurt flashing across his face, Cas tried to push away from Dean's hold.  
"I do not wish to be a burden." Castiel, much to his dismay, whimpered, feeling tears threatening to fall again.  
"Hey, Cas, I'm sorry. I'm just tired and cranky. You can sleep with me if you really want to."  
Castiel looked up at Dean, rubbing his fists over his eyes, reminding the hunter just how small and vulnerable he must be feeling.  
"Come on, bed." Dean held him tighter as the tiny angel curled into his arms, resting his head where he could hear Dean's heartbeat. Dean sat on the bed, keen to lay down, but stopped by the angel in his arms. He wanted to make sure Cas was asleep before moving him.  
Castiel looked up at Dean, blinking, before resting his head again on Dean's chest and promptly falling asleep.


	2. How to Bathe Your Angels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You know, if I wasn't afraid you'd smite me or something when you get your powers back, I might call you cute."

It quickly became obvious that the smallest angel was terrified of water.  
Bath time was an unpleasant experience for everyone involved.  
Dean had to resort to trickery to even get him near the bathtub.  
"Hey, Cas? Can you come here?"  
The small angel stumbled into the bathroom in a sleepy daze.  
"But Dean, I don't need to go."  
"That's not why we're here, Cas." Dean locked the door, above where the angel could reach.  
"What?" He looked terrified.  
"You need a bath."  
"No!" He scrambled to the furthest corner of the bathroom, between the toilet and sink, cowering.  
"Come on, Cas. Don't make this harder than it needs to be."  
"No!" The angel squawked.

Castiel actually hissed at Dean, bearing his teeth before promptly bursting into tears, burying his head in his hands.

"Hey," Dean crouched next to him. "Hey, look at me, angel."  
Big blue eyes peeked out timidly.  
"Would I let anything happen to you?"  
"N-no."  
"Trust me, ok?"  
His chin wobbled, but Castiel nodded slowly. "I trust you."  
"Off with your clothes then, bud."

Dean lifted the angel into the bathtub.  
"D-Dean-" Castiel started crying again, reaching out a hand for Dean to hold as soon as he was in the water.  
"It's ok, Cas. I'm right here." He held his hand tightly, starting to scrub at the dirt with his other hand while the little angel whimpered.

He waited until Dean was done washing his curly hair before speaking again.

"May I get out now, please, Dean?"  
"Yeah." Dean picked up the wet angel, wrapping him in a towel.  
"You even get clean pajama bottoms tonight."  
"Alright." Castiel yawned.  
"Sleepy?" Dean laughed softly.  
"No." But his eyes drooped as he said it.  
"Sure thing, bud."  
Dean toweled the angel dry, ruffling his hair and the feathers on his wings.  
Dean helped him into his pajama pants, pulling an oversized tee shirt over his head and wings and picking him up.  
Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean's neck, sticking his thumb in his mouth.

The angels, especially Cas, got very cuddly when tired.  
"You know, if I wasn't afraid you'd smite me or something when you get your powers back, I might call you cute."  
"'M not cute." The tiny angel pouted.  
"Sure thing, buddy." He smiled affectionately as they neared the angel's nest.  
Castiel slept in Dean's bedroom most nights. Even when put to bed in another room, Dean would wake in the morning to satiny black feathers tickling his nose. Dean eventually figured they would both get more rest if he just started the angel in his bed.  
So Castiel built himself a little nest on one side of Dean's bed, nearest the wall. He used anything that smelled like 'home' to him, basically Dean's clothing, oven mits that smelled of pastry, and his dirty trench coat-turned security blanket.  
"Stay 'till sleep." Castiel mumbled, exhaustion laced in his voice.  
"You're almost there already, angel."  
But Dean crawled under the covers, pulling Cas into his arms, tucking him close, where he knew he felt the safest, where the angel could hear his heartbeat.  
If you'd have told Dean three months ago that he'd be cuddled up to a baby angel and be enjoying it, he'd have laughed in your face. And probably punched you.

As soon as he was sure Cas was asleep, he went downstairs to collect the next angel.  
"Who's next, little monsters?"  
"Balthazar should go 'cause he's the next youngest after Cassie." Gabriel shouted.  
"Shh, Gabriel." Balthazar mumbled sleepily, covering his ears with his little hands. "Not so loud."

Not one to be carried around even when exhausted, Balthazar walked ahead of Dean, climbing the stairs to the bathroom slowly, his toddler legs could only carry him so fast.  
Balthazar was the easiest of the three to bathe, not terrified like Castiel, and not overly energetic like Gabriel. He merely sat patiently as Dean soaped his hair and washed his arms, combed the dirt from his feathers. He yawned every few minutes, absently playing with the small toy boats and bubbles.  
"You sleepy too?" Dean asked.  
He nodded slowly.  
"It's still pretty early, did you and Cas give all your energy to Gabriel?"  
"We cannot transfer our energy to others, Dean." He yawned again. "Only Gabriel has any grace anymore."  
"You know what I mean, Balthazar."  
"I do." 

Balthazar, prone to night terrors when alone, slept in either Sam or Dean's bedroom, depending on who was asleep and when. He would crawl into bed when he was sure he wouldn't be caught and rejected, curling into whoever was close. On rare occasions, however, when Dean could tell it'd be a rough night, he'd start the little blondie with Cas in his bed.  
Dean put him into his bed-nest next to a soundly sleeping Castiel. Balthazar cuddled into his brother's side, closing his eyes as Dean pulled a warm blanket over him.  
"Goodnight, Balthazar." Dean whispered.  
"Night, De-" He was cut off by another yawn.

 

"Gabe, you're up." Dean yawned, once downstairs.  
"Goody!" Gabriel jumped off the couch and ran ahead of Dean, up the stairs and into the bathroom, full of energy despite the late hour.  
He stood waiting for Dean to help him into the tub, fully undressed.  
"Well, you sure aren't shy."  
"What's there to be shy about?"  
"Nevermind." Dean tiredly responded, lifting the small angel over the tub.  
"Cannonball!" Gabriel screamed, jumping from Dean's arms into the water.  
"God, Gabe!"  
"Don't bring my Father into this, Deano!" Gabriel giggled.  
"You got me wet!"  
"You know I did!" The small angel laughed.  
He splashed happily among the bubbles as Dean washed his hair.  
"Hey! Watch where you point those things!" Dean exclaimed as Gabriel's wings sprayed water on him.  
He had only turned his back on the angel for a second, when he scrambled out of the tub and took off.  
"Put your pants on!" Dean yelled as Gabriel escaped into the hallway.  
"Gotta catch me first, Winchester!"

Once Dean had wrestled the energetic angel into his pajamas, he dumped him into the bed in the spare bedroom.  
"Lets cuddle! I want you to read to me."  
"It's late, Gabriel. You need to go to sleep."  
"It's not even midnight, Deano!"  
"Kids your age should be in bed hours ago."  
"I'm not a kid and I'm not going to sleep!"  
"Yes, you are." Dean turned out the light.  
"Turn it back on!" Gabriel screeched. "Stay until I go to sleep!"  
"Not happening."  
"I want Sam."  
"Sam's busy trying to cure your ass. He can't come save you whenever you decide to throw a bitch fit!"  
"I want Sam!" He squawked stubbornly.  
"Shut the hell up!"  
"No!"  
"I swear to God-"  
"I told you, don't bring my Father into this!" He screamed. "I'm an archangel! I have more power than you can ever dream of!"  
"Give it a rest!"  
"I could smite you with the snap of my fingers and you dare refuse my demands?" He stood on the bed, hands on his hips, eyes flaring angrily. "I'm more powerful than any of you! I should be allowed to stay up as late as I want!"  
"If you're so damn powerful, why can't you mojo you and your brothers back to adults so I don't have to take care of you anymore! You're fucking annoying, Gabriel, you know that? Even worse as a toddler."  
"Nuh uh!"  
"You couldn't even protect your own brothers!"  
"You're not my father!" He screamed.  
"Good, because I wouldn't want a little brat like you! He didn't even want you, look where you are!"  
That shut him up. Gabriel sat down, arms folded across his chest.  
"Now go to sleep. I can't fucking deal with any more of your shit tonight."  
The hunter stormed to the door.  
"Don't I get a hug?" Gabriel whimpered quietly. "Aren't you gonna tuck me in like Cas and stay 'till I go to sleep?"  
"You're a powerful archangel, you don't need a hug. So no. Go to sleep." Dean slammed the door behind him, without hearing Gabriel dissolve into terrified sobs as soon as he was gone.


	3. How to Comfort Your Archangel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel centered chapter. He really needs a hug.

"How'd you sleep, Gabe?" Sam asked as he dished out scrambled eggs at the table the next morning.  
"I didn't."  
"What?" Dean demanded. Bobby looked entertained.  
"I didn't sleep."  
"At all?" Sam asked gently.  
He shook his head.  
"Wasn't tired. Told you." Gabriel glared at Dean.  
"You little-"  
"Dean!"

"If he chose not to sleep, he shouldn't be allowed to nap." Bobby suggested.  
"Fine, old grouch." Gabriel snarled.  
"Fine, you fucking cranky angel." Dean muttered, shooting the archangel a hard glare.  
Sam sighed.

 

He was yawning every second minute, eyelids drooping before snapping open, stubbornly trying to stay awake.  
"Come on, little angel." Sam murmured, taking him into his arms. Gabriel let himself be picked up without argument, struggling to keep consciousness.

There was an old as time rocking chair in the room Gabriel had claimed.  
"Dean's a big meanie." He yawned as Sam curled himself and the archangel into the chair, pulling an old woven blanket around them.  
Gabriel settled into the hunter's lap, resting his head on Sam's chest, feeling strong arms wrap lightly around his small frame and hearing Sam's heartbeat in his ear.  
It'd been a long time since he'd been held in love and reassurance rather than punishment or convenience, he suddenly realized.  
A wave of sadness hit him, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes before he managed to blink them away.  
"I'm a bad kid." Gabriel sighed sadly, concluding that's why Dean didn't like him. Why he'd gotten in trouble. Another wave hit him, harder this time, and he found it hard to pretend it didn't hurt, to pretend he wasn't five seconds from ugly crying. Because no, even though he had the body of a child, Gabriel was determined not to act like it.  
"You're not bad, just a bit difficult at times is all."  
"I just wanted a hug." He whimpered.  
"Huh?"  
"I wanted a hug and Dean slammed the door when I asked him to stay." Gabriel sniffled quietly, swiping at his eyes, embarrassed. "Was scared and he yelled at me."  
"Shh," Sam soothed, rubbing his back gently. "I'm sure he didn't mean it. We're all just tired and stressed right now. Don't think any of us has gotten any sleep really. He's just cranky. You know Dean."  
"He doesn't like me."  
"He-"  
"He likes Cas and even Balthazar but not me. He made that perfectly clear."  
Sam sighed, knowing he wouldn't get anywhere by arguing with a stubborn angel, especially a stubborn angel running on no sleep.  
"Go to sleep, silly angel."  
"But Bobby said-"  
"Shh, don't worry about it. Sleep."  
"W-will you-will you...cuddle with me, Samsquatch?" He asked timidly, as if afraid to be rejected again.  
"'Course, Gabe." Sam pulled him closer, kissing his forehead lightly. "'Course I will."  
"Thank you." The small angel choked out around the lump in his throat. He felt safe, and that almost make him break down.  
Gabriel fell into a light, restless sleep wrapped in Sam's warm embrace, lulled by Sam's steady heartbeat in his ear.

~

"You hurt him, Dean." Sam told his bother. "He's just a kid and he's just as scared as Cas. Cut him a little slack."  
"No way! Little bastard is fine."  
"You'd understand if it was Cas."  
"Cas needs me."  
"That's what I'm trying to say, Dean!" Sam exclaimed exasperatedly. "Gabriel needs you too! He's just as scared as Cas is, maybe even more because he doesn't have you to reassure him!"  
"He doesn't need me."  
"He does, Dean! He's scared and alone and he needs you!"  
"Screw that!"   
"He wanted you to cuddle with him last night. He was scared."  
"He was just being a dick and not listening, like usual."  
"God, Dean! Do you even hear yourself? He's a kid!"  
"He's an archangel."  
"Right now he's just a little kid. He can't help getting scared!"  
"I didn't sign up for this, Sammy!" Dean almost yelled.  
"Neither did they!"  
"I never wanted to be a parent to a dick angel!"  
"But Dean, I see you with Cas, you're so good with him, he looks up to you, he goes to you when he needs something, when he's scared! What makes you think Gabriel doesn't need that?"  
"Because he's Gabriel! The dick angel who trapped us in TV land, who made you relive Tuesday over and over!"  
"He's just a kid, Dean. He's scared and he needs you."  
"He's got you."  
"I have to try and fix this mess!" Sam exclaimed, exasperated. "I can't come save him every time you decide to take out your anger on a kid!"

"Why are you yelling about me?" Gabriel whimpered from the doorway, rubbing his eyes sleepily.  
"Hey, Gabe. You didn't sleep long." Sam said gently.  
"I woked up."  
"No shit, Sherlock." Dean mumbled. Sam shot him a dirty look.  
"Samsquatch..." Gabe raised his arms, asking Sam to pick him up.  
"You alright?" Sam asked as he curled him into his chest.  
"I hadded a bad dream." He rubbed at his eyes with tiny fists. "Michael 'n Lucifer were fightin' again."  
"Still sleepy?"  
"Mmm," Gabriel nodded. "Dun' wanna sleep. 'M scared, Sam. Dun' want'ny more nightmares." He hid his face in Sam's shoulder.  
Sam shot Dean bitchface #4, mouthing 'I told you so!" at his brother who rolled his eyes in response.

~

"Why don't you like me?" Gabriel looked up sadly.  
"Look, we'll try again tonight, ok? I'll stay until you go to sleep if you really want me to." The hunter sighed. "Are we done now?"  
"Not just that, Dean."  
"Then what is it? Spit it out! I've got better things to spend my time doing!"  
"I'm scared too. S'not only Cas." Gabriel whispered, staring at the quilt intently.  
Dean just stared at him.   
"I know you don't like me, but-b-but," His chin quivered. "P-please don't give up on me. N-not like Father."  
"Gabe-"  
"I know I'm difficult and a dick and a bad kid and a bad angel and I'm a pain in the ass but p-please don't give up on m-me too."  
"Listen-"  
"I need you too." Gabriel's voice wobbled. One fat tear escaped, he was close to giving in to his overwhelming emotions for the first time since he was turned into a toddler and he'd decided to let Dean to see him at his most vulnerable, even though he'd hurt him.  
He swiped at his eyes, obviously embarrassed.

He'd never felt so vulnerable in his thousands of years as he did right then.

The thought sent him into a tailspin. He could feel his control slipping, chest tightening, eyes stinging. He couldn't hold it in much longer and he knew it.  
Dean's expression softened, heart clenching painfully at the child in front of him. He knew what was coming.  
What would he do if this was Castiel who was so upset? If it were a young Sam about to break down in front of him? The answer was obvious.  
"Still want that hug?" He offered gently, opening his arms.  
Gabriel nodded, crawling into Dean's lap, trying to regain control of his body. He was shaking with the effort not to crumble to dust and embarrass himself. Dean pulled a warm blanket around them, wrapping the small archangel into a shivering bundle in his arms. Gabriel leaned into his touch desperately.  
"I'm sorry." Dean said quietly. "I didn't mean to hurt you."  
That seemed to be what broke the last of Gabriel's self control and he started to cry.  
He couldn't hold it in anymore, trying to hide his face in Dean's shirt, humiliated beyond belief. Just soft sniffling hiccups and apologies and fears.  
"Hey, hey, hey, shh, Gabe." Dean was shocked by his tears.  
"I'll be g-good. I won't be any more troub'l," He cried. "P-please d-don't give up on-on me like F-Father did."  
"Shh, I'm not. I won't." Dean soothed.  
Gabriel clung to Dean's shirt, pressing his face into his stomach. Dean put his arms around him, gently keeping him close.  
"Let it out, Gabe. Just let it all out. I got you."  
Gabriel cried quietly into Dean's shirt while the hunter held him, rubbing his back gently, stroking his soft little golden wings, anything to calm the miserable bundle of blankets and feathers in his lap.  
Gabriel cried until he ran out of tears, unable to hold anything in anymore no matter how hard he was trying to. He stayed sniffling in Dean's hug until he felt he could pull away without crumbling again.

"Feel any better?" Dean's voice was so gentle and understanding. It almost made the small archangel break down again.  
"Little." Gabe whispered, cheeks bright red with embarrassment. "Sorry I cried."  
"S'ok. It was bound to happen eventually."  
Gabriel sniffed and avoided looking at the hunter.   
"Hey, look at me, Gabe."  
He waited until his golden eyes were visible before continuing.   
"I'm not giving up on you, ok?" Gabriel's chin wobbled dangerously as he listened to the hunter. "Got it?" Dean whispered.  
Gabriel nodded mutely, eyes threatening to overflow again.

~

"Will you stay 'till I fall asleep?"  
"Yeah, I will."  
Gabriel shifted uncomfortably under the covers, tangling himself, punching at his pillow, trying unsuccessfully to get comfortable.

Dean pulled back the blanket, joining Gabriel, pulling him into his strong arms.  
The little angel looked shocked, his body tensing at the unexpected contact, but quickly relaxing as Dean began to gently rub his back, snuggling into the hug gratefully.  
When Dean reached over to turn the light off, Gabriel whimpered. He pulled him closer into his chest reassuringly, realizing the angel was scared of the dark.  
"S'ok, Gabe." He whispered. "Nothing's gonna get'cha when I'm around."

The pint sized archangel was lulled to sleep by Dean's heartbeat and the feeling of the hurter's breath on his neck. He felt safe and warm and most importantly, loved, for the first time he could remember.  
It was awkward and uncomfortable for both of them in the beginning, but it was a start.


	4. How to Reassure Your Angels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Balthazar needs some love.

Balthazar was the trickiest in some respects. He was quiet at the best of times, never asking for anything himself, relying on Gabriel or Cas to voice his needs. He got embarrassed easily, but was tough as a nail and never showed any fear or hurt.  
So obviously, Dean was more than surprised when he was woken from a nap by the solemn angel.  
"Balthazar?" He mumbled sleepily.  
"D-Dean." The tiny blonde hiccuped.  
"What's wrong?"  
"I um, I-I...Nevermind."  
"Wait, c'mon, hold up. Spit it out, kid."  
"I..I need h-help."  
"Alright, what'd you need?"  
His face was hard set, but his eyes were red, cheeks stained with tear tracks. He'd been crying.  
"I seem to h-have...had a accident." He bowed his head in embarrassment. "I-I forgotted we need to...now."  
"That's alright." Dean took his hand, getting off the couch. "Show me, ok? We'll fix it."  
Balthazar led him to a small puddle on the floor behind the sofa, surrounded by wet clothes. He hung his head. Dean squeezed his hand reassuringly.  
"I think you could use a bath, eh?"  
Balthazar shook his head, refusing to look at the hunter.  
"Just a quick one, then you can go back to your brothers."  
"Don't-d-don't tell them, p-please, Dean."  
"I won't. Just between us, ok?"

Knowing he was fascinated by the little boats that swam across the water when wound up, Dean plunked a few from the bucket of toys into the tub while it filled.  
Balthazar pulled off his remaining clothes slowly, shoulders hunched as if to hide his new human body in shame. He looked humiliated.  
"Hey, man, it's ok. These things happen." Dean tried again to reassure him. "Do you need another go before you get in the tub?"  
He shook his head.  
"Ok. Let me know if you do." Dean gently lifted the angel into the warm, bubbly water.  
Balthazar sat, letting the hunter wash his back and hair silently, watching the toy boats intently.

"Nice and clean."  
Balthazar nodded, still silent.

It wasn't until Dean was helping the small blonde into his pants that Balthazar spoke again.  
"I am sorry to have bothered you."  
"Don't worry about it."   
"I am not Castiel, nor Gabriel. You do not need to pretend you care as much."  
"You're important too, Balthazar."  
"I don't have a you or a Sam." He sniffled, looking dangerously close to tears. "Even Bobby don't like me."  
"What d'you mean?"  
"Castiel is your angel and Gabriel is Sam's angel. I'm nobody's angel. I got nobody."  
"Balth-"   
"I feel very alone." Balthazar admitted quietly. "And I want a drink."  
"Well, there's not too much I can do about getting you a drink, but you are definitely not alone in this, ok? We're all right here."  
"But I don't have a you or a Sam." The blonde angel whispered.  
"You've got better than just me or Sam, you've got both of us."  
Dean saw a tear fall from the angel's eye. His heart softened.  
"Now, give me a big hug and go play with your brothers."  
Balthazar went slowly into Dean's arms, unsure. But once he was there, he collapsed into Dean's embrace, burying his face into the hunter's chest. 

Dean heard a sniffle.  
"Hey," Dean said softly. "Are you cryin'?"  
"'Course n-not."  
"Balthazar-"  
"B-but...if I was...w-would you laugh?"  
"No, I wouldn't."  
The tiny blondie let out a small sob, holding onto Dean tightly.   
"Shh. It's ok." He whispered.  
It seemed all the angels had a breakdown or two that they needed to get out of their systems.


	5. AM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a cutesy short chapter.

"Hello, Dean." Castiel beamed.  
"Cas, what the hell?"  
"It is morning."  
"No, it's not."  
"But the clock says AM. Doesn't that mean morning?" The tiny angel sitting on his chest looked terribly confused.  
"Cas, it's," Dean shot a look at his bedside clock. "Five in the morning. You don't just get up that early!"  
"But-but Dean, it is morning."  
"It's too early to be awake." Dean pulled up the covers, motioning for Castiel to join him. He eagerly climbed under the blankets, curling close to Dean's chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. "Go back to sleep for a few hours. Then we'll get up, alright?"  
"Alright, Dean." Castiel mumbled, already lulled partially back to sleep by Dean's heartbeat in his ear. When Dean started to stroke the angel's tiny black wings, he was out.  
Dean smiled, kissing the angel's head before he too fell back into his dreams, lulled by Cas's soft breathing and the warm weight on his chest.


	6. How to Leave Your Angels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, you really, really need your big brother.

Dean was throwing necessities into his duffel bag when Castiel found him.  
"What're you doing?"  
"Packing."  
"Why? Are we going somewhere?"  
"I am."  
"Are you leaving us?" His voice trembled.  
"Bobby found me a hunt."  
"Can't Sam go?"  
“I want to.” Dean said. “It feels like it’s been so long since I ganked a monster.”  
“It has only been a month.”  
“Feels like forever.”  
"Can't I come with you?"  
"I just need a couple nights to myself. A break."  
Dean zipped up his bag without noticing the angel’s wounded look. 

Cas trailed him to the front door, where Sam and the other de-aged angels were waiting to say goodbye. 

“Dean,” Cas whispered, looking up with a heartbreakingly sad look on his face. "Please, stay."  
Dean scooped the tiny angel into his arms, hugging him tightly.  
“I’ll be back.”  
But when he went to put him down, he couldn’t remove the vise-like grip Castiel had on his neck.  
"C'mon, Cas, let go. I'll be back."  
“No.”  
Eventually, Dean managed to pry him off, setting him on the floor next to his brothers. 

Instead, Castiel grabbed onto Dean again, wrapping his arms and legs around his left leg.  
Dean sighed before choosing to ignore him and continue with his goodbyes.  
"Be good for Sam and Bobby."  
"Sure thing, Deano." Gabriel smiled sweetly.  
Balthazar nodded.  
“Ok, I gotta get going. So you gotta let go of my leg now, Cas.”  
“No.”  
“Cas! Let go!”  
"NO." Cas held onto Dean's leg tightly.  
"Get off!"  
"NO."  
Dean shook his leg gently, trying to dislodge the angel.  
“Cas!”  
“NO.”  
Dean shook his leg, hard this time, landing the little angel flat on his butt. 

Cas took off. 

Dean sighed.  
"Don't worry about it,” Sam said. “We've got everything under control here. Go save some damsel in distress."  
"Just don't get her pregnant. We don't want you reproducing." Gabriel laughed, scampering off to no doubt make more mischief with Balthazar on his heels.  
Dean left with a wave, the familiar ruble of the Impala signaling his departure.  
“You go check on the little one. I’ll put a movie on for these monsters.” Bobby told Sam. 

The younger Winchester searched for awhile before hearing sniffles coming from a small closet near Dean’s room. Castiel was curled into a makeshift nest made of his trenchcoat on the inside. 

Sam leaned on the doorframe.  
"He'll be back, Cas."  
"Please go away, Sam." The little angel didn't look up.  
"You can sleep with me tonight, if you want."  
"I believe I will be fine on my own." 

Gabriel appeared and started to tug on Sam’s pant leg.  
“I’ll talk to him.”  
“You sure? No offense man, but you’re not really the most comforting.”  
“And you are?”  “Fair point.” Sam sighed. “Just...be gentle, ok?”  
“Angels are comforting beings by nature, Sam. I can handle my little brother.”  
“Good luck.” Sam ruffled the archangel’s hair as he left. 

“Cassie?” Gabriel tentatively entered the closet. “You alright?”  
“Fine.” Cas mumbled. “Go away.”  
“I just thought you might want this.” Gabriel handed Castiel one of Dean’s favourite teeshirts. “It smells like him. Like gunpowder and leather.”  
The smallest angel looked up momentarily before taking the shirt from his brother, holding it tightly with both his hands.  
"Me ‘n Balthazar were gonna watch a scary movie and stay up late 'cause the sasquatch doesn't care."  
"No, thank you."  
"C'mon, Cassie. He'll be back."  
"Please go away, Gabriel."  
Gabriel sighed.  
"I can't go away 'cause you're my little brother and I don't like it when you're hurting."  
"Please, Gabriel." Cas pleaded. "I don't want to do this."  
"Tough."  
His voice got softer.  
“I know why you’re so upset.”  
“I highly doubt that.”  
“You’re scared he won’t come back. Or he’ll get hurt and you can’t heal him.”  
Castiel didn’t respond.  
“Or maybe you’re scared that he will decide to leave. Decide he want’s to start hunting full time again, and you’ll be left here. Alone.”  
“How do you know?”  
Gabriel shrugged. “I’d worry that too if it was Samsquatch going on the hunt.” 

“I’m gonna give you a hug now, ok?”  
“No, th-thank you.”  
“C’mon, Cassie.”  
He shook his head.  
"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want a hug."  
Cas bit his lip but didn't respond at all.  
"Cas?" 

It absolutely killed Gabriel when he caught a glimpse of the lost look in his brother's eyes, and he only waited a second before pulling him into a tight hug. Cas buried his face in the archangel's shoulder and tried to control his intense urge to cry.  
"It's ok" Gabriel soothed as a fierce pang of protectiveness shot through him. "Big brother's got you."  
Cas just clung desperately to him, occasionally letting out small whimpers he couldn't contain. 

"Want Dean." He whimpered softly when he pulled back from the hug, peering up from underneath his mess of curly hair.  
His eyes were wet, but he wasn't quite crying. It sure looked like he wanted to though.  
"You still got us, Cassie." Gabriel tried to comfort him. "We won't leave you."  
"What if he don't come back?"  
"He'll be back."  
"Father left."  
"I know."  
"Dean could leave too."  
"I know. But he won't."  
"How do you know?"  
"Because it's Dean." Gabriel smiled softly. “He always comes home.”  
Castiel sniffled miserably, bringing Dean’s shirt up and burying his face in it, whimpering quietly.  
"You wanna sleep in my room?" Gabriel offered gently.  
"N-no." Cas whispered, bringing the shirt down from his face. "I wish to be alone."  
"You wanna go do something? You can pick the movie. Or, I know! I could tell you stories like I used to."  
"Maybe some other time."  
"You sure you don't wanna hear about all the pranks I used to pull before you were around? There were some pretty good ones, like this one time I-"  
"Please, just go." Castiel really didn't want to cry in front of his brother.  
Seeming to get the hint, Gabriel pressed a kiss to the top of his head before he left, choosing to ignore the tears pooling in his brother's big blue eyes.  
"Love you, Cas. Come get me if you need me.” 

When Gabriel was gone and Cas was alone again, he curled himself into his trenchcoat, Dean's old shirt as his pillow, brushing the wetness from his cheeks. 

And he prayed. Hard. 

~

Hours later he could see, through a crack in the door of Bobby’s guest room, his brothers’ faces illuminated by the light of Sam’s laptop playing a movie.  
“G-Gabriel? Balthaz-zar?” Cas’s voice trembled as he pushed the door open further, dragging his dirty trenchcoat in one hand and holding onto Dean’s shirt in the other.  
“Castiel?”  
“May I p-please sleep in here with you?”  
“Of course.”  
Cas pulled himself onto the bed, crawling to where his brothers lay as Gabriel sat up to look at him. His blue eyes were painfully puffy, cheeks stained with tear tracks.  
“Oh, Cassie.” Gabriel pulled him into a hug. Castiel buried his face in his older brother’s shoulder.  
“I do-I do not wish to be alone anymore.”  
“You don’t haveta be.”  
“I..I-” Then he was crying, warm tears falling into Gabriel’s pajama shirt, shoulders shaking.  
Gabriel just held him close, whispering soothing Enochian into his ear.  
Balthazar rubbed his back and stroked his wings gently.  
Castiel soaked up the comforting touches and just cried.  
Gabriel tapped into his Grace, wrapping the three of them in warmth and comfort and familiarity. 

It took quite awhile until he had calmed down, and a lot of comforting and coaxing to get Castiel to show his face again. He was thoroughly embarrassed.  
“I apologize,” He wiped the back of his hand over his eyes. “I-”  
“It’s ok, little brother.” Gabriel smiled softly. “That’s what we’re here for.”  
They tucked him in securely between them, Gabriel laying on his stomach with his arm around him, and Balthazar right beside him, holding the little angel’s hand. Cas looked towards the ceiling before closing his eyes and letting out a watery breath.  
“I don’t want to go to sleep.”  
“Why not?”  
“Sleep brings nightmares. If I have a nightmare Dean-.” Cas let out a small whimper.  
“We don’t have to sleep then, right Balthy?” Gabriel tried to sound comforting.  
“Right.”  
“Won’t we get in trouble?”  
“Naw, the sasquatch don’t care unless we’re gonna hurt something.”  
“I’ll read to you, ok, Cassie?”  
Castiel nodded, holding Dean’s shirt to his face. Balthazar wrapped his arm overtop his brother’s stomach and pulled him close while Gabriel fetched their book of choice. 

After crawling back into bed, he sat the Bible on his lap, opened to the first page, and began reading.


	7. How to Calm Your Angels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean comes home.

Sam thought it was his way of coping, shrugging it off at first when Castiel didn’t greet Dean at the door. 

Dean wasn’t sure exactly what he’d expected when he’d arrived, but it definitely wasn’t being completely ignored by the smallest angel, not even a smile. 

“Dean!” Gabriel exclaimed, running to him, arms wide for a hug. Dean scooped up the little archangel, pulling him close and hugging him tight.  
“Hey, Gabriel.” He smiled. “Were you good while I was gone?”  
“Of course I was!”  
“I bet.”  
“You better be really nice to Cas, he really missed you.”  
“Then why is he ignorin’ me then, huh?” Dean poked him in the ribs.  
Gabriel squealed, huge smile spreading across his face.  
“Dean!” He giggled. “Quit ticklin’ me!”  
“What,” Dean smirked. “This?” He started to tickle the angel’s stomach.  
“Dean!” He shrieked, golden wings fluttering. “I’m gonna pee myself!”  
Dean stopped, laughing. “Eww, don’t want you peeing on me!”  
Gabriel smiled, suddenly wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and squeezed.  
“I missed you.”  
Dean smiled, hugging him back.  
“I missed you too.”  
“Don’t go again too soon, ok?”  
“I won’t.” 

Dean hugged him closer for a second before carrying him to the kitchen, where Bobby was waiting with a cold beer and reheated spaghetti.  
“Was everything ok?”  
“That one,” Bobby pointed to a smirking Gabriel in Dean’s arms. “Was a little shit, as usual. Balthazar tried to get into my booze, and Cas was...well, Cas.”  
“What do y’mean, Bobby?”  
“Wet the bed both nights. Think he really missed you.”  
“Told you.” Gabriel poked Dean’s cheek.  
“And this little monster turned my entire fridge, and it’s contents, pink!”  
“Everything still tasted the same.”  
“It was pink!”  
“Sam duct taped me to the wall.”  
“Good.”  
“Hey.” Gabriel faked offense. 

Then Dean went upstairs to unpack. On his way, a tan trenchcoat caught his eye. Sure enough, it was Castiel was sitting in the corner of a spare bedroom

“Cas!”  
The tiny angel flinched, but didn’t look up from where he was scribbling Enochian into his notebook as Dean entered the bedroom.  
“There you are! Where’s my hug, man?”  
Cas didn’t respond.  
“Hey, angel.” Dean crouched down to his level. “Why’re you ignoring me?”  
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” Castiel didn’t look up, keeping his eyes locked on his book.  
Dean sighed.  
“It’s late. You coming to bed with me?” He asked while the angel into his arms.  
"I wish to sleep alone, Dean." Castiel informed him in an emotionless voice, trying to squirm out of his grip.  
"What happened to your vessel being afraid of the dark?"  
“No, Dean.”  
“What?”  
"Put me down!" Cas screeched.  
Dean hissed in pain as a black wing collided forcefully with his face, dropping Castiel onto his butt.  
"What the hell, man?!"  
"I told you to put me down."  
"You didn't need to bitch slap me with your friggin’ wings, dammit!"  
Cas just glared at him.  
"Fine. If you wanna be a little shit about it, go ahead." Dean snapped, turning to leave. “Just don’t come cryin’ to me anymore, ‘cause I don’t care.” 

“Bobby?” Dean called, storming down the stairs. “Can you find me another hunt? I’m done with this shit.”  
“Didn’t you just get home, boy?”  
“I can’t freaking stand being in this house one more minute.” 

“Dean, please don’t go again.” Gabriel appeared next to him, looking up pitifully.  
“I’ve got to get out of here, little man.”  
“Cas don’t mean it.”  
“I think he does.” Dean sighed, ruffling the angel’s golden hair.  
“He really did miss you.”  
“Sure he did.”  
“Didn’t you hear Bobby? He peed the bed both nights.”  
“Doesn’t mean anything.”  
“Don’t be stupid, Winchester.” Gabriel scolded. “He missed you. He just don’t know how to tell you. And it was my bed he peed in.” 

~ 

Sam found him curled up in a makeshift nest in one of Bobby's closets.  
"Cas?"  
"Go away." His voice was muffled by the pillow beneath him.  
"C'mon, man, we've been looking for you."  
“I do not wish to speak with you.”  
Sam sighed.  
“You ok?”  
"I am an angel of The Lord, Sam. I do not need you to comfort me."  
“What’s going on?”  
“Go away.”  
"You're hurting him, Cas. Dean wouldn't admit it in a million years, but he's really hurt."  
"I don't care."  
"What's wrong with you?"  
"Nothing. Now please go away." Cas knew he was about to cry again and he didn't want Sam to have to witness that. He pressed his fists to his eyes, desperately trying to stem the oncoming tears.  
"Do you want a hug?" Sam asked hesitantly.  
"I do not require a hug."  
"But do you want one?"  
Castiel bit his lip.  
"Want me to get Dean?"  
"He's mad at me. Won't come." Cas sniffled.  
"He'll come."  
“He said I can’t come crying to him anymore, because...because he don’t-he don’t care.”  
Sam sighed.  
“That’s what he does when he’s hurt, you know, getting angry. He cares about you. He cares a lot.”  
The little angel whimpered.  
“Should we go get him?”  
He nodded, looking up with wet eyes.  
“Aw, Cas. C’mere.”  
Sam gently picked up the trembling angel, hugging him close for a second before starting downstairs. 

“Dean?” Sam called. “Dean, where are you?”  
“Kitchen!”  
Sam paused just before the door to the kitchen.  
“You good, Cas?”  
He shook his head.  
“Ready to see Dean?”  
He nodded. 

 

“Man, I go for like two days, and you leave me all these dishes to do!”  
“Dean.”  
“What, man?”  
“D-Dean.”  
"Cas?" Dean looked surprised, turning around quickly.  
"I am s-sorry, Dean." Castiel breathed out, chin trembling and eyes full of tears.  
Dean sighed, wiping his hands on a dish towel.  
“Yeah, I’m sorry too.”  
A tear escaped the angel’s eye, rolling pitifully down his face. Dean’s chest clenched painfully in response.  
"You gonna let me take you now?"  
Cas responded by holding out his arms desperately. Dean immediately grabbed him and pulled him close while the little angel curled his arms around his humans neck tightly, trying to fight down his tears.

“Hey, shh,” Dean soothed softly. “It’s ok.” 

He wasn't sure what was going to happen between them, so he quickly took Castiel into another room, away from prying eyes.

"Cas, c'mon. Tell me what's been going on."  
"I do not deserve your kindness." The tiny angel whispered. “Not after the way I have been treating you.”  
“Just tell me what’s going on.”  
“I thought you were going to leave.”  
“I told you I was coming back!”  
“Father left. And I never thought he would.” Cas let out a trembling breath. “You could leave too.”  
“I’m not gonna leave you.”  
“You could though.” Tears were filling the angel’s eyes again.  
“I won’t...I promise.”  
“You will. Everyone I care about leaves.”  
“Cas, no.”  
“I do my best but I can’t make anyone stay!” He started to cry. “I try to do the right thing and I always fail!”  
“You do your best.”  
“It’s not good enough!” He cried. “It’s never good enough!”  
“It’s not your fault, angel.”  
“I betray those I care about!”  
“Cas-”  
“I get people killed!”  
“It’s not your fault.”  
“I do not want to get you killed!” Cas sobbed. “I do not want you to leave me!” 

He was getting hysterical. 

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Cas kept sobbing the same thing over and over, crying hysterically, his whole body trembling. 

Dean knew a panic attack when he saw one.  
“Hey, breathe. We’ll worry about it in the morning.”  
He started to rhythmically stroke Castiel’s little black wings.  
"Just breathe, angel." Dean soothed softly, holding him close. "Just breathe."  
Cas just held on and cried, burying his face into his human’s shoulder and soaking it with warm tears.  
"It's ok. I'm here now, I got you."  
The angel was shaking so badly, crying so hard, Dean didn't know what to do.  
Short, painful gasps of air was all the oxygen the little angel could manage to take in. Dean could feel the speed of Castiel's heartbeat against his chest, he knew he had to do something.  
“C’mon, angel, just breathe with me. In and out.” Dean steadied his own breathing so it was easier for his angel to follow. Cas tried, he really did, but it was hard.  
“That’s it. In. Out. In. Out.” 

He pulled away once he was only sniffling slightly, tears somewhat halted.  
“Hey, look at me.” Dean kept his voice gentle.  
Big, tearful, blue eyes met his.  
“I’m always gonna come back for you, ok?”  
Castiel fell back into Dean’s chest with a sob.  
“You got it?” He waited for Cas to nod before continuing. “I promise I’ll take you with me.” 

He was crying again, but quieter. Soft keening noises, hands desperately holding Dean’s shirt, as if that would keep him from leaving again.  
“It’s ok, Cas.” Dean soothed gently. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

Then Castiel yawned, eyelids drooping. It was obvious he was exhausted.  
"You sleepy?"  
Cas nodded.  
"I bet. Panic attacks are exhausting."  
"I'm so-"  
"We'll worry about it in the morning." Dean kissed the angel softly on the forehead. "Want me to put you to bed in your brothers' room?"  
He shook his head quickly.  
"You wanna sleep with me?"  
Castiel nodded, burying his face back into his human’s chest.  
“We’re gonna get you a drink first.”  
Castiel nodded again. 

Dean lifted them off the bed, keeping a tight hold on the little angel before making their way downstairs to the kitchen. Bobby and Sam were already there, the other angels in bed. 

“He alright? We heard-”  
“He’s fine.” Dean interrupted Bobby. “We’re going to bed. Just came down for a drink.”  
“Get some food in ‘im too. He ate like a bird when you were gone.”  
“What do you say, Cas? How about I heat us up some famous Winchester chili?”  
“Not hungry.” Castiel whispered.  
“How about some cereal then?”  
“I don’t care.” His voice was even quieter than before.  
“Lucky Charms it is then!” 

Dean set them up with bowls of cereal at the kitchen table, Castiel in his lap, his arms curled around the still trembling bundle of feathers.  
“C’mon, angel. Just a bit, then we can go to sleep.”  
Cas tried to hold his spoon, but he was shaking so badly it all spilled off before he could get any into his mouth.  
“It’s ok.” Dean gently took the spoon from him. “I got it. Open up.” 

Dean managed to get half a bowl of cereal and a few sips of milk into the angel before Castiel curled into Dean’s arms, sticking his face into his chest.  
“I guess you’re done then?”  
The tiny angel nodded without removing his face from it’s position.  
He yawned into Dean, who took it as a hint as to how tired he really was.  
“Bedtime, angel. Still wanna sleep in my room?”  
Castiel nodded.  
“Good.” Dean smiled softly. “We’ve gotta get you changed though.”  
Castiel whimpered when the contact with Dean was lost as he was gently laid on the bed.  
“It’s ok, Cas. I’m just getting your pajamas.” 

The hunter gently removed the Cas’s jeans, replacing them with soft pajama pants.  
“Up.” Dean held onto his little hands and pulled him into standing as he tugged the pants onto the angel. Then he scooped him up into a hug.  
Castiel whimpered, wrapping his arms around Dean tightly.  
“It’s ok.” Dean whispered. “I’m here now.”  
“Missed you.”  
“I missed you too.”  
“You did?” Castiel’s voice was so small and unsure.  
“Yeah,” Dean kissed his forehead. “I really did.” 

Once they were tucked into bed, curled close together, Dean covered them up with his warm quilt, keeping the angel close to him.  
He was still shaking, breath still hitching, still with a death grip on Dean.  
“You warm enough?”  
He nodded.  
“Just shivering?”  
Cas whimpered, nodding again, burrowing his face into Dean’s arm. He sniffled, and Dean could feel his shirt growing wet with tears.  
“It’s alright, Cas.”  
“Missed you.”  
“I know, angel. I missed you too.”  
“Don’t go.” He whispered. “P-please.”  
“I meant it, y’know.” Dean gently reassured him. “I’m gonna take you with me next time.”  
“Promise?”  
“I promise.” 

“Get some sleep, Cas.” Dean tugged him closer. “I promise I’ll be here when you wake up.”  
He stroked Castiel’s soft little wings, humming Metallica until they both fell asleep.


End file.
